I have to write this sentiment down because I suspect it will be one of those things I shake my head at later. I am looking forward to the pain of child birth so long as it does ultimately deliver the child. I’ve started to long for any cramp or pain or ache that could possibly suggest any signs of a beginning.
I am four days overdue now and in the scheme of things the delay is quite normal. It won’t even be much of a problem until I reach 42 weeks. I mean that it won’t be a problem medically. I am feeling the biggest I have ever been and can’t imagine that my body can fit this little person anymore. The baby’s movements have become more lethargic with occasional bouts of stretching that seem to attack my right hip bone in quite a tortuous way.
Luckily my sister has been visiting for a few days and she has been taking care of me, and the flat, while I am camped out on the couch. My housemate has been nice but he’s not so active in the ‘taking care’ part since he’s out until nine or ten o’clock most evenings.
The pain part and the anticipation is something I’m getting excited about. A friend was due four days after me and she had her little girl on my due date. It reminds me of training for months for a race and then having to taper for a couple of weeks before the big day. The body is ready but you can’t do anything until the right moment. In my case, I’m not even sure when the big day will be, I’m hoping it will be today but who knows.
I’m also reminded of some of the long runs I used to do around Bristol when before I hit 10kms I would be grumbling to myself that this didn’t even feel exciting or worth it, I like to struggle with every step I would insist, feel like I’m putting the effort in. Once I was closer to 20kms, of course, the struggle and the pain from grinding knees would have me grumbling again.
Today I am making a concerted effort to drop the grumbling and enjoy the last few days of silent, in terms of the baby, love and the more present aspects of it with my sister’s company. I’ll let you know how it goes.